Thursday, September 2, 2010

Adoption Update :)

Tuesday we received notice from the USCIS, that we were granted provisional approval to adopt Ben.  Basically they are saying that he looks like a good match for our family.  (Duh!)  This means that our paperwork is now sent to the US Embassy in Armenia where we will apply for a visa so Ben can enter the US and the Article 5 is generated.  Once we have the Article 5, we can schedule our court date!

So, it looks like we should be making our first trip in 4-5 weeks!  Finally this dream is becoming reality.  Exciting and slightly scary at the same time.  Time to think about packing (what does one wear in Armenia? ), child care arrangements while Jim and I are gone (substitute teacher as well!),  making sure we take all necessary paperwork, and making travel arrangements.  Lot's of expenses coming up....

*Thank goodness for Jen's packing list to use as a resource!

So, just when we felt we had a handle on the financial side of this adoption, we received a fee increase notice from our agency!!!  Ugh!  $2,000 more we need to come up with.  Fabulous.

He'll be worth every dime, but why oh why must it be so expensive!?!

We will not let this dampen our excitement.  Armenia here we come!  We just might not be able to get back home.

Speaking of excitement, there was a great article in this months edition of Adoptive Families magazine about how much difference there is in the level of excitement between the announcement of a pregnancy, and the announcement of an adoption.  Dramatic difference.  I can't link to the article yet, but I will.  Basically it said that when a pregnancy is announced, there are squeals of delight, and offers of baby showers.  When an adoption is announced, well, let's just say, the response is more along the lines of, "Oh, really?"  "How nice" or "good luck with that."

I'm not feeling sorry for myself at all here, we have received lot's of support for the most part, and truly I don't care what others think.  Also, I experienced the pregnancy excitement thing 3 times, and while that too gets less exciting to others the more times you make that announcement, it's still more exciting that the dreaded "adoption" announcement.  I'm not sad for myself, I'm sad for those first time adoptive Mom's who have first struggled with infertility, and now have to deal with others who think adoption is less special, less miraculous, a second choice.  They spend their wait explaining their choice to others, and educating those around them.

Why does adoption have to be so expensive, and so full of heartbreak?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jill! So nice to meet Jen's sister! You look so much like her.

    When we first announced we'd adopt, the excitement wasn't quite there amongst family and some friends.

    When we finally brought Stan home, I believe that our joy of becoming his parents was contagious and grew immediately amongst friends and family.

    We had a wonderful homeschooling group that showered love on him to the nth degree...waiting for us at the airport with welcome home signs, and a small, intimate baby shower amongst the closest of friends.

    The joy we felt, the joy we felt when we were given his referral, was the same joy as giving birth biologically, for us.

    With all of the bumps that come with the ride, know that the joy will mount to even greater heights!

    The cost...that's what is keeping us back right now...I would LOVE to adopt again. I just don't get it.