Monday, April 4, 2011

Home 5 Months!

I can't believe that tomorrow, Ben will have been home 5 months. After all that waiting, where time seemed to stand still, time is now just flying by. Getting to know this little boy has just been the most amazing experience.

I am having the hardest time writing this update, there are so many questions to be answered, how is he doing? How are we doing? Are things easier or harder than we expected? Do we have any regrets? How is therapy going? Will we send him to school? Does he have any challenging behaviors? Are we doing the best things for him? Have we learned enough? What is it like parenting a child with special needs? All this is swimming through my head, but the only word I can seem to type is beautiful.

That's what he is, perfect and beautiful, busy and curious. More typical than not. He is not a project to be managed. In my most sane moments I remember these things. When I can let go of the anxious feelings of not doing enough, I remember that he is just a sweet little boy. So, I hug him, and remember that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. I cannot change him and take away his disability, but I can support him.

Sometimes reading other blogs is a curse. Other Moms are doing more, they are up on all the latest therapies and supplements, they are scheduled to the hilt. That's great for them, but not for us. It takes effort to remind myself that Ben wants me to relax and play with him, to slowly show him the way. To not be tense and running all over the place all the time. He needs time to move and explore, not time spent in a car seat.

Ben did start therapy, but his "team" and I all agree less is more at this point. We all like it this way, especially Ben. Time in the kitchen to perfect his mixing skills, that's what he wants.

To answer some of those questions, we are all doing great. Things are much easier than we expected. Maybe it's his age, maybe things will get harder, but so far he is not much different than a typical toddler. He is happy and healthy, what more could we ask for? Did I mention he is walking independently, climbing on chairs, navigating the stairs, the boy is on the move. Ay caramba!


  1. What a wonderful update, Jill! He is an amazing little boy and looks so great! Love the chef look:)

    YOu know, as a parent of an adopted child, I always wonder if I can be doing more. I also feel that way with my bio kids. Just in a different way. You have that extra factor. No matter what, I think as good parents, we will always question our parenting and wonder what more we can do.

    Ben obviously is showing the effects of a healthy, happy, loving and nurturing household.

  2. (this is amanda, jill...i guess i am signed in under my hubby's name now...i just realized, but i've already written this comment below so i'll keep myself signed in this way....just know it's me!)

    I love it! How precious to sum this all up to "beautiful." I know that takes a conscious decision, but it just reflects your beautiful heart Jill. We can choose to run ourselves and our family rugged, spend time doing, doing, doing, and going, going, going...all the while carrying the stress of schedules and being in a hurry, etc. Or we can choose, at times, to just be appreciate just "being." This is a lesson I am learning myself (and have in fact pulled my kids out of a thing or two recently just to stop the madness of being on the go all the time. It does nobody any good!). I'm finding, and they are too, that just "being" is bringing much more peace and balance to our family. It's allowing me to stop, soak in the moment, enjoy my kids and the gift that they are, and to truly live in the "now." So bravo to you, for going against the grain, but listening to your heart and what's best for your family, following through on it, and choosing to see "beautiful" in the midst of it all. Beautiful!

  3. He is so darn cute! I am so happy that he is yours. Ben is truly a gift!