Reece's Rainbow has started an out-reach program called Connecting the Rainbow. The goal is to eliminate the need for Reece's Rainbow, by allowing children born with special needs to stay with their family of origin. This can be accomplished by changing the social stigma of raising a child with special needs in Eastern European countries.
As we move closer to bringing Ben home, I find myself thinking about his birth mother more and more. Was she young and unmarried? Married with other children? Was he their first child? Did she want to keep him, but a doctor advised her to go home and forget about him? As a mother, I can't imagine having to make that choice, simply because my child was not going to fit the typical mold. Society would not accept him, so I shouldn't either. How many times a day does she think of him?
We don't know much about the circumstances surrounding his abandonment. I hope for his sake that she did not know about his defect before he was born, so that at least he felt loved and wanted while she carried him. Suddenly being separated from that familiar heart beat is one thing, but being bathed in rejection for 9 months is another. The research showing just how much the fetus is actually aware of is amazing.
I will never sit in judgement of her. I truly wish that they were able to remain together, that there was no photo listing of waiting children. I do no deserve him more than she does. I will forever feel a deep sorrow for her loss, and hope for a day when the stigma is erased.
I will do all I can to support organizations like Connecting the Rainbow that are working toward eliminating the need to find forever families for these children, through awareness, education, and social change. Not by simply eliminating the problem with the development of a more reliable and widely used prenatal diagnostic tool. Remember, the abortion rate is over 90% for DS. It's a double edged sword. Ben was allowed into this world probably because he was conceived in a third world country, yet shut away because of that same fact. The solution is not easy, nothing surrounding adoption is. It is not acceptable, however, to allow those currently being affected to wait in inhumane conditions while we figure it out. Every child deserves a family. Thank goodness there is a plan B for these children. Thank goodness that to adoptive parents every where, these children are not second best to us.
Way to go Reece's Rainbow, keep up the amazing work!