A Year To Remember

A year ago today, we stepped off a plane and introduced Ben to his new family.

Then.

This has been a year of getting to know each other.  There were more changes in our family during Ben's first year home than I had hoped.  I specifically remember asking for a quiet year!  But, it is what it is.  Ben has rolled with the punches, and has adjusted amazingly well.  

When we started this journey to Ben, we didn't know exactly what to expect.  What will it really be like, day to day?  Are we really, truly crazy for doing this?  Books can only prepare you so much.  

FAITH=Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him

  I can honestly say that having him home has put all of our fears to rest.  He felt like one of the family right away, and I just feel like his Mom.  A very lucky Mom.  My love for him vs. each of our biological children is no different.   Well, maybe I love them all differently.  They are, after all different  people, with different needs.  But, you can be sure they are all loved with the same intensity, the same ache in my heart.   He is not loved any more or any less because he was adopted.  

Now, I don't want to build him, or our experience up unrealistically.  Of course, there are times, days even, that are more challenging than others.  It's meant a lot of hard work for all of us, and been a daily practice in patience.  He is often loud, squirmy, and uncooperative.  I haven't always handled it with grace.  We are no longer an inconspicuous family.  For better or worse, we make a lasting impression where ever we go. :) Ben has received more than his "fair" share of our parental attention at times.  Despite all this, adopting Ben has exceeded our expectations by a mile.  The amount of joy he brings to our lives is beyond measure.  

Watching Madeline, Marney, and Owen welcome Ben into our lives with open arms has been a gift to all of us.  They are learning that we make adjustments for the special people in our lives.  It's not a sacrifice or an imposition, it's what we do for people that we love.  It's what we do for everyone at times when we all have special needs or concerns.  We all fall and need help getting back up.  They love him more that I could have ever hoped.  They do not resent his presence in our lives.  This little guy has no clue how deeply he has penetrated our hearts, and changed us all forever.

So, what has this little wonder been up to?

Gross motor-  Ben was crawling when he came home, now he is running, climbing, kicking a ball, and trying to jump!

Fine motor-  Still not using a pincer grasp, this is a goal for the next few months.  Doing great at stacking, shape sorting, and the like.  He loves to learn and be challenged.

Self care-  Self feeding, making good progress here.  Not completely independent, but progressing nicely.  He is biting and chewing well.  He can remove all his clothes independently :/  working on redressing!  Loves to "help" brush his teeth, learning to sit still for this process.  Loves the bath tub and everything that goes with it, does not love to get out!

Speech-  Since we started working on learning his ABC's and starting sight words and numbers, he is attempting to say lots of new words.  He uses about 10 signs regularly and appropriately.  His receptive language is better than he would like us to believe.  He understands everything!   

Social-  Does not need any encouragement in this area!  He is our little ambassador, making friends out of strangers where ever we go!  Sometimes needs a reminder to be gentle, and use a quiet voice.  Also working on, hugs are for family, high fives or hand shakes are for friends. 

Education-  Working on learning his ABC's and sight words.  Lot's of flash cards!  Lot's of reading and play time going on here too.

Now.

Ignore my closed eyes, I just love this shot of Ben!

Exploring

As the weather warms, so very, very, slowly.  Ben's world grows bigger, and bigger.  From a small orphanage in Armenia, to our slightly bigger corner of the globe.  Opportunities abound this little boy.

Exploring the zoo.

Exploring the great outdoors from high atop his Daddy's shoulders.

First train ride.

There is a whole word out there waiting for you buddy.  Just wait until the sun really starts to shine.

Is She Yours?

Sweet Angel recently listed on Reece's Rainbow, here.  

"Anyone who receives a child in my name, receives me."

Henry

Goal reached!  Henry has $1,000.00 in his grant fund!

Thank you to all those who helped.  I'll be keeping my eye on Henry and will let you know if his forever family finds him.

I'll also post the grand total of the Angel Tree donations when I find out.  There are so many kids with huge grants!  Now all they need is a family.

Could it be you?

May 2011 be a year where record numbers of families step out in faith, and provide homes for these precious souls.

Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.

–Cadet Maxim

Hope you all have a blessed New Year!

A most important post....

....to read and consider over coffee this morning,  here.

Change of Plans

I was contacted by Catholic communications company called The Maximus Group located in Atlanta, Georgia, to help promote a new movie.


Change of Plans is the latest offering from Family Movie Night, presented by Walmart and P&G. It's the story of Sally and Jason Danville, a young couple with plenty of love, talent, and career opportunities - and no responsibilities. When Sally's childhood friend dies and entrusts her with four children, Sally and Jason begin a journey that changes the focus of their lives and expands their definition of family. Three of these four children have become siblings through international adoption, and the movie offers a challenging, heart-warming insight into the joys and struggles of building a family from a group of strangers.


:30 Change of Plans from Moms4FamilyTV.com > on Vimeo.
>



It looks really cute, and Brooke White from American Idol is in it!  Love her!


Change of Plans airs on Saturday, January 8 on Fox.  


Let me know if you get a chance to watch it, tell me what you think! 

Such An Honor

Barbara Curtis, who blogs over at MommyLife, featured our family on her last post , on the last day of National Adoption Month.

Such a nice post, by a very nice lady.  Thanks Barbara!

Barbara is the Mother of 12 children, including 4 with Down syndrome.  After the birth of their son Jonny(DS), they went on to adopt 3 boys who had all been blessed with Down syndrome.

She is an amazing Mom, with tons of great advice for Mommy's of all children.  Visit her today!

Hey!

Henry suddenly has $155 in his grant fund!

That's $125 raised this week!

Awesome!

Thank You!!!

Every dollar brings Henry closer to finding his family.

Don't you just want to squeeze his chubby cheeks?

And snap up his pants?

He's so cute!

Meeting Ben

Jim captured the first time we met Ben on video...

Christmas Warrior Info

I finally received the link to Henry's sponsorship page.  You can find it on the left hand side of this blog.  Click on it!  The link will take you to a page where you can see all the children on the Angel Tree this year.  Scroll down a little ways and you will find Henry's picture.  Click on his name, and that will lead you to the page where you can make a tax deductible donation directly to Reece's Rainbow.  

OR

You can just click here.  It will take you directly to his page, but it's kind of fun to take the long route and check out how much has been raised for the other children.

Reece's Rainbow will add your donation directly to Henry's grant fund. 

If you give a gift of $35 or more by December 15th, you will receive an ornament with Henry's picture to hang on your tree.

While not every family is called to adopt, you can still make a difference in the life of an orphan.  Thank you for making a difference for Henry.

 

Wrapping Up Our Week

This was Ben's first week home.  So, how did it go?

Let's take a look...

{Ben's first participation in the Brown family after dinner kitchen dancing}

I'd say he fits right in.

Really, it feels like he's always been here.

The kids can't get enough of him, they have been such a huge help.  Someone is always offering to get him dressed (which is no easy feat, let me tell you!  He is a wiggly boy.),  offering to feed him, or take him outside to play. 

The girls each told me on separate occasions, "Mom, I just love him, I forget that he has Down syndrome."

The first time I heard this I was speechless.  It took me a while to process that statement, because it's something that I struggle with, and I'm his Mother.   Is it the innocence of childhood that let's them forget?  Is it the cynicism of the adult world, or the pressure to be perfect that forces me to always keep it in the back of my mind?  

I guess I can't totally forget.  It's my responsibility as his Mother to help Ben be all that he can be.  This will mean that he needs a little extra help in certain areas.  But I don't ever want Down syndrome to be the first and only thing I, or anyone else for that matter, sees.  He is so much more.  

He is a happy, silly, and playful boy.  He loves to laugh.  He loves music.  He loves to eat.  He is strong willed, but compliant at the same time.  He is loud, and demands attention.  He loves to snuggle.  

He has a gift for making sure that for every encounter he has with another human being, that person walks away smiling.  How many people can say that?

No, he's not perfect, but who is?  My hair's a mess and I have baby slobber on my shoulder at all times, who cares?  Any life worth living is a messy one.  We all have issues, some of them just can't be covered up with make-up, nice clothes, and a big house.

The second time I heard that statement, I was a little more prepared and said, that's great honey, because that's the way it should be.  We should all just see Ben when we look at him.  Just like we do with everyone we love.  We see the good, the bad, and the ugly, and love them anyway.

I'm so happy they have figured this out at such a young age.  I know this experience is making them more compassionate and more sensitive people.

***********

Lest you think it's  been all rainbow's and butterflies around here this week,  there have been some struggles.  Normal things that go on when adding a new member to your family.  There has been a few tears, some jealous feelings, some "can we send him back?" moments.  But, I know they will get fewer and farther between as the weeks pass.

The three big kids have been sick with a stomach virus.  Nothing says welcome back to reality more than a stomach virus!  

Even that felt good though, it felt good to get back to taking care of all my kids.  I never thought a stomach virus could feel like a blessing.

************

Ben went to the doctor on Wednesday.  He has some growing to do.  He is only 21lbs.  That only puts him in the 10th percentile on the DS growth chart.  He didn't even score on the regular chart!  He's been ordered to eat.  That won't be much of a hardship for this boy.   

Other than that he looks great, and doesn't have to go back for 3 months.

In the meantime, he will need to be cleared by a cardiologist,  have his vision checked, and have some blood work done.  I'll be scheduling those appointments today.

************

Have a great weekend!

I'm linking up with Jen @ Forever For Always No Matter What.  Be sure and visit, and share your week as well.

Home Sweet Home

Here are a few pics of our homecoming.  Never before have I been so glad to see our family and be home.

We missed these kids so much.  Madeline gave us the hugest hugs ever, she was a sight for sore eyes.  Man, have we missed that girl. 

I love this girl in purple.

OMGoodness how I missed my little man.

He said, "Mom I missed you so much, I even forgot how your hair smelled."

Then, "you know I'm sleeping in your bed tonight, right?"  Yes, I certainly had planned on that.

He looked so grown up, wearing jeans and everything.

Tell me, how can I keep them little?

Leah and Ben meet at last.  I so cannot wait to see the relationship that forms between these two little souls.

Ben was a trooper.  23 hours of travel, 3 different planes, and he still managed to smile through most of it.

He didn't mind his first car seat ride too much.  Once he settled in, he jabbered all the way home from the airport.   The other kids laughed in all the appropriate places.  He just ate up their attention, and appreciation for his witty humor.  I think he's going to like it here.

He crashed shortly after getting home, and slept all night.  There will be much exploring today.   

P.S.

We came home to an extremely clean home ( my Mom worked her magic, I don't know what she does it, but I can never get my house to feel this clean.), a meal in the fridge, all the kids laundry caught up and put away, gifts, and a "Welcome home Ben" cake made by our very own Cake Boss.   

Oh, and a few home projects complete, Thanks Dad!  The stairs looks great!

Thank you to our wonderful family, we are grateful, and feel very loved.

We Have The Visa!

Heading home in the morning!

Pray for our safe travels, and that Ben does not spend the whole trip spitting up.  :)

Update

As much as I'd like to say we are packing for our return trip, I can't.

We had our embassy appointment Monday, and received word today that Ben's visa will not be ready in time for us to fly out Thursday.

They need "a few more" days.

What does that mean?

I can't call the airline and tell them to change our tickets to "a few days" from now.

Hopefully we will be able to fly out Saturday.

Say a few prayers for us!

We Are Christmas Warrior's

Please help us raise $1000.00 this Christmas season for this little cutie.

Soon, I will be posting a Chip-In on my side bar, where you can make a tax deductible donation directly to Reeces' Rainbow, to be added to his adoption fund.  

All too often, the huge expense of adopting is the only barrier standing in the way of loving families giving these children a forever family.  Your donation can help make the dream of adoption, reality.

Please keep Reeces' Rainbow in mind when planning your giving this Christmas season.

Ben Fact Sheet

I want to record some fun (and a few not so fun) facts about Ben right now.  I'm hoping this will be a way to track his progress over the next several months of him being home, and being part of a family vs. orphanage life.

Come on, let's find out all about me!

Fact 1:  Ben was born on July 19th 2008 in Goris, Armenia, he is 2 years and 3 months old.  He weighs about 20 lbs, and is wearing size 18 month on bottom and 18-24 month on top.  His feet are tiny.

Fact 2:  He is stinkin' cute.

Fact 3: He says "Momma," "Dadda," and "eat" very clearly.

Fact 4:  He knows the signs for "eat", and "more."   He already knew the sign for "eat," we have been working on "more" with him, it didn't take long.  He is a great student.

Fact 5:  He doesn't have too many orphanage behaviors, but teeth grinding, and growling at us when he is not happy with something are two we hope will go away quickly.  Oh, he also sucks on his fingers a lot, and likes to pull hair.  :)

Fact 6:  I think he is having some dysphagia (swallowing) issues, he coughs often with thin liquids, and has difficulty swallowing anything other than baby food consistency.  Definitely will get that evaluated when we get home.

Fact 7:  Reflux is a huge issue.  He spits up often, and has a hoarse voice.  We put him back on Zantac and this seems to be helping a bit.  He keeps sticking his fingers down his throat and making himself spit up, we're not sure if he is doing this because his throat hurts, it's a self stim thing, habit, or attention seeking. 

Fact 8:  He loves bath time.  It's a good thing, because, boy does he need one by the end of the day (see fact 7).

Fact 9:  He is a super sleeper.  He has been consistently sleeping for 12-13 hours straight every night, and naps for 2 hours after lunch.

Fact 10:  He is happy, playful, and engaging.  His favorite toys right now are soft activity books and his soft photo albums.  He loves to talk about who everyone is, and kisses them each in turn.  Also, every time he sees himself in a mirror, he blows himself a kiss.  No self esteem issues here!

Fact 11:  He is walking more and more, taking 5-6 steps independently, and walks quite a ways while hanging on to one of our fingers.

Fact 12:  He loves music, especially playing the piano, I see lessons in his future.

Fact 13:  He is a flirt!  He waves and smiles at all the pretty girls.  Jen, he and Leah will make quite the successful greeting duo.

Fact 14:  We think, he is a healthy, smart, high functioning child with a very bright future. 

Fact 15:  He certainly has a way of keeping us very, very busy!  Thank goodness for fact 9.

Signed, 

Ben's Management Team

Pieces of Armenia

We were treated to a tour of two Armenian monasteries, and a winery last Sunday. 

( I am a little behind on posting updates, Jim and I have been violently ill a little under the weather for the past couple of days.  If we were in Haiti, I would have drug myself to the hospital convinced it was cholera, but alas it was merely a stomach virus.  Ben was slightly confused, what happened to my fun new parents?  Who are these lumps on the sofa?  

Never fear, we have recovered, and are back to our usual spunky selves.)

Khor Virap (means "deep hole") monastery near the boarder of Turkey with a beautiful view of Mt Ararat in the background.  

This monastery was built on the site of a pagan temple after St. Gregory the Illuminator was tortured and kept in a deep hole for 13 years.  Gregory, whose given name at birth was Suren,  was born to a Persian family living in Armenia.  St. Gregory the Illuminator is credited for bringing Christianity to Armenia. 

Sunday morning we woke up to no power in our apartment.  This is us, not showered. :)  Mt. Ararat is a sacred place to Armenians and to Christians around the world.  It is said to be the site where the Noah's Ark came to rest after the flood.  Currently Mt. Ararat is located in Turkish territory, but it continues to be one of the symbols of Armenia. 

After leaving Khor Virap, we stopped at a restaurant (the pic above is not the restaurant!) in the mountains to place our lunch order before heading to the next monastery.  Across the road, these women were making lavash (spelling it how it sounds, I think we spell it with a "w" in the states) to store for the winter.  We were told it would keep for 6-9 months.  Our favorite part was the oven in the floor.  Two women were rolling out the dough, and the third was slapping it against the hot bricks on the side to bake.  It was yummy.

Sarah, I see a future for us here if our families ever decide to kick us out!  Do you want to roll dough, or run the oven?

Next, we headed up the mountain to a monastery called Noravank.

Me, at the top of the real stairway to heaven.  Not sure why I came back down.  Seriously, the steps were less than a foot wide.

The outdoor restaurant where we had lunch.  It was beautiful.  Deep in a crevasse with a river running right through it.

The winery was our last stop.  We had a great day.

Ben continues to do well.  He is sleeping better and better each night, and settling into a routine with us.  

Today the sisters had a farewell party for him and the daughter of one of the other families traveling with us.  It was very nice.  The children sang songs, and said goodbye, good luck, we will miss you.  I got chastised by an 8 year old for crying.   I couldn't help it.  Ben received a blessing by a priest from the Catholic Church of Armenia, using a relic from Mother Theresa.  So I guess he received a blessing from Mother Theresa herself?

The sisters gave him a photo album of his first two years, which I know in the adoption world is huge!  Most children from an orphanage do not receive this.  We feel very blessed he has these treasures.

We also received his baptism certificate, yes Uncle Bob, he's Catholic!

They kept thanking us for taking him, one of the sisters pulled me aside and said, "God puts a call inside of us, and we can either say yes, or say no.  Thank you for saying yes."  I don't think she knew how significant that was to our story, and the current adoption campaign circulating about saying "yes."       I'll never forget that moment.

We don't feel worthy of their praise, we are the one's who are grateful for our boy.

We've Got Him!

But first,

we interrupt our previously scheduled programming with a message from home...

Now, back to the show...

After a blessing, and an emotional goodbye, we took our boy for his blood test (we'll just forget that ever happened), and then back to our apartment.

First stop, climbing right in the blow up bath.

 Next, he tried to climb in the washing machine.  It was on the spin cycle and must have looked very interesting.  Ben wanted in on the action.

We were laughing watching him hike his leg up trying to get in there.

After a little nap, and skyping the kiddos at home, it was bath time.

I'm not sure who was more wet, Ben or Jim.  The bath was a huge hit.

After bathtime, our squeaky clean boy got ready for bed.  We put him in the jammies that the sisters sent with us.  They were clean, and we wanted him to sleep in something familiar.

The sisters were so generous, they sent all of his clothes with us, medicine, and foods he is used to eating.  We don't have room for everything, and will take much of it back, but we will keep a few items.  They are good transition pieces, and important memories for Ben.

 Ben didn't eat very much today and seemed a little sad at times, but over all it went very well.

And, I think we cannot get home a moment too soon!

Tomorrow Is The Big Day!

Finally, we received the OK to take Ben from the orphanage tomorrow!  We are so excited to get our hands on him for real.  I've been feeling that the bonding process is at a stand still while we only get short visits.  Getting him back to our apartment, and getting him used to us before we get on the plane home will make his trip less stressful.  It will also give Jim, Ben, and I some concentrated time together before heading back to the busyness of our life at home.  Which we can't wait to get back to, BTW!

We miss our munchkins at home.

The sisters will be throwing him a party next week before we leave.  They want to send him off with a bang, and make sure everyone gets a chance to say goodbye.  The sisters are so sweet, and do such a great job creating a family-like environment for these children.   It's very obvious these children are loved.

{Jim and Ben on our first visit, still not sure about what these strange people are up to}

{Today at the park}

{Mommy and Ben, first day}

We received Ben's new birth certificate and the adoption certificate today.  Also, we applied for Ben's passport, which we can pick up tomorrow.  Things are moving along very nicely so far.  Tomorrow is also blood draw day, then embassy physical Friday.

Hopefully the embassy will be efficient and all three families will be done and out of here by the end of next week.

Thank you for all your prayers and kind words, they mean so much to us.

Day 6 in Armenia

Today was rather uneventful.  We were able to visit Ben this morning for a short time.  A virus running through the orphanage is placing extra demands on the sisters and staff, so we decided to give them a break from entertaining us this afternoon.  Ben has a cold and his reflux is flaring up.  Although the sisters say he is much better than he was last winter,  I am anxious to get him home and evaluated by our pediatrician. He is spitting up quite a bit after every meal.  Should make for a fun plane trip home!

{When he is not spitting up, he is a happy boy!}

Our lawyer submitted the application for Ben's new birth certificate and the adoption certificate on our behalf today.  Tomorrow will be spent applying for Ben's passport.  The team here has been wonderful.  We feel very well taken care of.  Our translators have been fun and endlessly patient with us.  

Thursday will be blood test day, and Friday will be the medical evaluation for our embassy appointment.  It's looking promising for us to head home on Saturday, October  30th.  That is if the strike in France does not continue. 

We are hoping Thursday will be the day we spring him from the orphanage forever.  I'm hoping that everyone involved remembers that it's in Ben's best interest to be with his new parents and begin the bonding process.  Personal agendas should be set aside.  While he has received "excellent" care here, there is never a substitution for a forever family.